A Single Moment of Impact
by katieupatree
Summary: You're going to reach a moment in your life, and it's going to hit you with such a rush of complete clarity that the whole world is going to illuminate with what is truly important. Begins in Always, and then continues into the lives of Castle and Beckett. They had their moment of impact, but what happens next? A little angst - a lot of love and affection.
1. One

Hello everyone.

This is a story about how one moment can change the course of our entire lives; and how that despite being terrifying, it can also be just what we need.  
In Always we saw Beckett literally clinging on for her life, and that brought her to Castle's front door. This is the story of how she got there, and what happens to them next.

Disclaimer: Everything and everyone belongs to their rightful owners, i'm just borrowing them for a little while.

* * *

**A Single Moment of Impact**

"_There are these moments in life, Kate, that impact on our lives like a natural disaster does on the world. And right now, all you can see is how terrible these moments in your life have been, and how much better the world would have been without them. But one day, something is going to happen to you, and you're going to realise that all the emotion that has collided directly into you is a good thing. Something is going to happen to you; a single moment of impact that will make you see that the power of a natural disaster, however devastating, is also beautiful. You're going to see that to be more than who you are is an impossible task. You are already capable of being everything that you want to be; you just need to decide what parts you want to keep a hold of, and what parts you need to let go of."_

Kate hadn't known what to say. Hadn't understood what Dr. Burke was trying to tell her, but was too embarrassed, and perhaps a little too scared to ask him to explain. This wasn't like him; cryptic life lessons and metaphors, it wasn't really his style. But whatever it meant, he had a look in his eyes that told her she needed to keep listening. To hear what he was saying, even if the words were just ringing in her ears without a single glimpse of having understood them.

"_You're going to reach a moment in your life, and it's going to hit you with such a rush of complete clarity that the whole world is going to illuminate with what is truly important. I can't tell you what, or when, or how it will happen. You just have to trust that it will, and be courageous enough to accept whatever you find in that moment.  
I know that this a lot to take in, and that in all likelihood not a single word of what I have just said has made any sense at all, but one day it will. And that day is going to be the most important moment of your life so far."_

* * *

Kate had left Dr. Burke's office that day, the office of the man who had been her one source of comprehension against the chaos that had been slowly devouring her life for the past thirteen years, convinced that she wasn't the only one who was going slightly mad. And that should have scared her, but this was a man who she trusted inherently; and so Kate had accepted all that he had said to her to be something that she would need in the future, and didn't think of it again. Until now.

Because here she was, sat on a swing, so drowned in the numbing cold and pouring rain that she couldn't even feel the bruises that would have otherwise made the effort of breathing too much to take. Here she was, without the familiar, comforting press of metal against her skin. Here she was, yet again thrown out into a world that seemed determined to be rid of her. And what was it that she was thinking of?

The whole heartbreaking world was alight with the thought of the man that not twenty four hours ago she was determined to never set eyes on again. And the irony of how close she had come to that reality would have been funny, if it wasn't so utterly terrifying.

So, here she was, understanding every single word that Dr. Burke had spoken that day, and she felt a little like she had just watched as the entire world had been swallowed by a great tidal wave, and had been spat out the other end; shattered, and stunned, and yet somehow beautiful.

This was it. This was her single moment of impact. And really, what else could she do, but find the courage to accept what it was telling her. To find her way back to the only thing in this whole world that mattered at all. To find her way back to Richard Castle.

* * *

To Be Continued..

I hope that you liked the first section, I know that it was rather short, but I just wanted to introduce the idea.  
I have only written this chapter so far, but I have an almost plan as to where it is going to take our favourite crime fighting duo.

Please let me know what you thought, and if you think it is a story worth continuing?  
And thank you for reading.

Until next time,  
Katie.


	2. Two

Good evening everyone.

First off, I just wanted to say thank you to those of you who have added this to your alerts and favourites, it really does mean the world to me.

Secondly, just a little note to anyone waiting for an update on **A Real Lisbon Family Christmas**, I intend to have the next chapter written as soon as I possible can do. I'm debating over a couple of ideas, and I just want to make sure that I keep it on the right track. So, as ever, please just stick with me for a little while longer.

I couldn't sleep, and so I thought an update was in order.  
This is yet a little more into the fateful night.. I promise that the next time I update it will be in order to move into the actual plot (if we can quite call it that) of this story.  
Enjoy.

* * *

**Two**

Rational thinking told her to get into a taxi, go home, and get some sleep. Rational thinking told her that this was a ridiculous, adrenaline fuelled plan; a plan that wasn't really a plan at all, and certainly didn't have any definite result. Rational thinking told her that there was a reason why he hadn't answered his phone. Rational thinking had no place in the world. Not tonight.  
Tonight, all her thoughts were Richard Castle. The whole world was pulsating with the promise that she would be able to rescue the fractured remnants of their relationship, wrap them up in her trembling arms, and prove to him that this thing between them, whatever it turned out to be, deserved a chance to survive. They had been through too much for it to just be over. She had been through too much to go through losing him. Kate Beckett was no longer Kate Beckett without him. Without Castle, she was right back on that roof top, grasping hopelessly to a world that was done with her. And so, like all natural disasters, the aftershock pushed her further and further into the moment that would leave its impact on the entirety of her life.  
Her head too filled with the magnitude of what she about to do for coherent thought, it was her body alone that ran the familiar path, through the bitter rain and bitter people, to the door that held her life in its hinges.

Her hand shook as she reached out to knock against the door, pain splintering through the numbness of the cold. She didn't move, didn't breathe.  
The door opened, and the man that the entire world was illuminated with was stood, all too suddenly, inches away from her, and she still couldn't move. Still couldn't breathe. Because he wasn't really there at all; Richard Castle, the most infuriatingly wonderful man that she had ever known was gone, replaced by someone whose eyes didn't shine the way they were supposed. Here she was, faced with a prospect that she had been too emotional to consider, and not a single cell in her body knew how to respond.

"_Beckett, what do you want?"_

And then, without her even realising it, her heart and her mind had finally collided; were finally agreed upon their place in the world, and they were screaming out the truth that she had known all along.

"_You."_

* * *

Castle knew that despite everything the future held, the world would never again feel quite so utterly consumed by their love as it did now. The sun would come up, and reality would set in. A reality which still felt a million miles away as the rain beat as steadily as the heart pressed against his own, and his head swam with the dizzy memories of salt stained kisses. Here in the safety of the moonlight it was just them; two people who had collided with such force that the universe would crumble at their feet if they were ever to separate. All that mattered was the feel of her soft body pressed securely against his own, salted tracks of sweat and tears clinging to them as if they knew they had been a part of something much more than the outside world could possibly conceive. The room hummed with the shockwave carved out of two people who had been headed towards this very moment for their whole lives.

The world would keep turning. The seconds would keep passing. The night would soon be over, and the halcyon hours spent under the moonlight would dissipate along with it. Reality would set it, and the world would once again pull them in. Questions asked. Answers given. Tears shed. Truths faced. This night had been a magnificent whirlwind of revelations and blinding passion, but they couldn't stay here forever. They had to move one, no matter how daunting in seemed; they had to grow into something that was more than just two people, existing together, without a single thought to the city outside the windows.  
Which is why Castle dreaded the heavy wave of exhaustion that wanted to pull him into sleep. It was why he was fighting with all that he had to stay awake, if only for another second. He wanted to savour them, just being together, before anyone or anything had a chance to tarnish it. Because here he was, blissfully surrounded by nothing but the touch and the taste and the scent of Katherine Beckett. By everything that she was. By all that they could be.

Castle felt the subtle shift of Kate's body against his, her head tilted so that she could speak without the warmth of his neck swallowing her words,  
"_Go to sleep Castle,"_ her voice crumbled around the edges, echoing the exhaustion the he was feeling, _"we have the rest of our lives to worry about reality."_

"_Promise?"_

_"Always."_

* * *

To Be Continued.

I couldn't quite get the ending as I wanted it, but I hope that this update didn't disappoint.  
Please let me know what you thought if you get a free minute to do so.  
And thank you for reading.

Katie.


	3. Three

Hello again.  
I had today to myself, and not a single thing to do with it, so I thought that I would leave you all an update.  
We're back to school on Monday, so I won't be able to update as often, but I will do my best to try for Saturday updates. My exams all finished last term, so I shouldn't have too much work to do at home, which means more time than I would usually have to write.

Anyway, on to the next chapter..

* * *

**Three**

The world slowly began to filter its way back to her; stripping a little more of the blissful release brought by sleep with each steady beat of her heart. Each second pushing her unarmoured body further into the blinding reality of the daylight. Kate now understood the battle that Castle had fought with the pull of sleep mere hours before, because now she lay without the numbing cold and burning desire of the night before; broken, bruised, and desperate to fall away from the world for just a little while longer.

Her eyes were still too heavy to peel themselves open, mascara pinching tightly to her rain battered eye lids. Every muscle screaming out in protest against the waking world, her pale skin defaced by the hatred of a man who had left her barely grasping to life. The fear and desperation that she had felt fragmented over her body for the world to see. It wasn't enough for the demons of the past to haunt her life, now they were clawing their way into theirs. The life of Richard Castle and Kate Beckett. She had wanted this for so long; longer than her fractured heart had allowed her to believe, and yet she already felt as if she had let her flaws seep into them. Even in his fearless embrace, pressed so close to his heart that she could feel the ripple of his life flowing into her, they were still managing to drag her away. Tear her from the wonder that this morning should have been, and dirty it with their relentless hunt for her life. She wanted to be here; wholeheartedly with him in every way possible, but the fire that burned with every breath, every ebb of her blood, made it impossible to think of anything but the searing pain. The rush of blood echoed deep in her veins, blinding her thoughts and dragging her further from where she wanted to be. Her heart drummed against her rib cage, bones digging into the excruciating flesh that covered them. She felt foolish, ridiculous even, to be so consumed by it; she was pathetic, weak. Felt worse, choked with the strain of remembering each and every wound given to her by a man who she knew would never be caught. Not by her hand. Couldn't breathe for the lump that pressed down on her throat, threatening to escape; needing to escape.

Castle woke with a start, stunned for a second by the pure shock of being awake, before remembering suddenly the reason why. The strangled sob that had buried its way through his dream soaked mind, screaming desperately at his conscious mind to take over. The hand that had tried to cover the noise; had swiped in panic against the tears that fell along with it. The shaking body of the woman he loved curled tightly against him as if he were the only thing anchoring her to world. His heart beat rapidly, violently pulling him back to his head.

His arms were around Kate in seconds, pulling her flush his chest as he moved to sit up against the headboard, warm hands running soothing patterns against her icy skin without even the need to think about it.

_"Kate, sshhh, it's ok. You're safe, Kate, you're ok." _

He knew better than to ask what was wrong straight away, had experience enough with Alexis to know that it would be impossible for her to speak, let alone explain as her lungs clung desperately to the little air that she could manage to swallow in against the tears. Instead he ran his hands down her back, encouraging her body to kick in against her mind and grasp at the oxygen it needed. Fingers tangled in her hair as it blended in with her soft skin, dyed grey by the still curtained sunlight. Whispers of comfort and loving endearments keeping her conscious of his presence. He didn't ask what was wrong; he knew that she would tell him when she could.

Castle felt the sharp convulsion rack through her limp body, muscles turning painfully rigid with the unexpected rush of air that finally hit her burning lungs, shocking the life back into her.

_"I'm.. sorry.. Ca, Castle."_

Her breath caught heartbreakingly around each syllable, protesting against the effort they took to form.

_"No, Kate, you don't have to apologise. I'm here remember, I'm here. Just breath, go slowly. I'm not going anywhere; just tell me when you can." _

He felt her body press a little more into his, a little softer as she let his hands sooth away the tears.

_"It just hurts so much, and I tried, I really tried not to let it, but it's too much. It hurts too much." _

Her voice still caught around the edges, still clung to the pain and the fear that had overwhelmed her entire being. Her tears fell fresh against his skin, hot and heavy as they pooled between them.

For a moment, Castle hadn't understood what she meant; had been so filled with her emotional suffering that he didn't even consider the physical, but as he looked down to brush the salty track from her cheeks, he saw, all too clearly, what she was trying to tell him.  
Her whole body was a mosaic of bruises; angry purple stains that spilled out across her beautiful skin. The scrapes of concrete like tiger stripes across her back. The heart wrenching outlines of hands that had grasped her by the neck and promised to destroy her. How hadn't he seen them last night? How hadn't she felt them? Thoughts flicked through Castle's head at a thousand paces a second, trying to find something that would make it better, would make it bearable.

He'd gathered Kate up in his arms, her lack of protest fuelling his need to take her pain away. Had kept her there, arms as gentle as they could be, as he sat with her and waited for the bath to fill. Stood her up and held her hand, promising that the warmth and weightlessness of the water would help. Felt his stomach drop and heart ache as she had clung to him, hazel eyes desperately searching for his own.

_"Please, don't leave me."_

Castle kissed her words away. Kissed her fears away.

_"I won't, Kate. I'm here, I'm always here."_

He helped her into the bath, climbed in right along with her. Pulled them both carefully down into the relief of the water. His back against the slope of the bath tub. Her body caved in on itself, tucked so closely to his he almost feared that she would disappear into him.

* * *

He felt it, the moment of release, the moment he had hoped for. When the water stopped burning; stopped driving the pain deeper into her bones, and did what it was supposed to. Washed it all away.  
His arms carried on their soothing path, cleaning away the marks of the previous day that still clung resolutely to her fragile body.

Her mind ran away from the pain, couldn't feel anything except the reassuring presence of the sweetest man she would ever know. A man who had taken her pain, without a moment's hesitation, and turned into something so beautiful that it almost stung her heart to think of it. She couldn't stop herself, didn't want to stop herself. Kate's whole body was alight with a singular thought, a sentiment that was bursting to be set free and into the world. Their world.  
_"I love you."_

Castle wanted to play the scene on repeat for the rest of his life. The words, those three little words that meant so much more than anyone could truly understand until they felt them, spun through his head; delicious, and dizzying, and all that he had ever wanted.  
By the time he had recovered enough to respond, Kate was asleep, head turned into his chest and hands still clasped within his own. But it didn't matter that he hadn't had his chance to say them back straight away; made it seem even more magical. Because she had said them, completely from her own heart. From her own mind.  
He leant down, lips ghosting across the bruises that littered the skin he could reach without disturbing her, _"I love you too."_

* * *

To be continued.

Thank you for reading.  
Please, if you get a second, let me know what you think?

Until next time,  
Katie


	4. Four

Hello everyone.

Mondays are half days at school, so I figured I would lock myself away from the wonder that is the Great British weather and add another update.  
Enjoy..

* * *

**Four**

When Kate woke up, once again nestled between soft, Castle scented covers, she couldn't help the little flutter of disappoint that rose when she realised that he wasn't there with her. A flutter that was quickly dispelled when she turned her glance towards the alarm clock on the bedside table, and was met with a glass of water, two painkillers, and a handwritten note.  
Kate pulled herself up against the headboard so that she could reach across to the little assortment of kind hearted goodies that had been left for her, smiling absentmindedly as she did at the memory of Castle's arms wrapping her up so softly in his ridiculously fluffy bathrobe that her body barely recognised that it had been stirred from sleep. Snuggling a little deeper into the blue stripped fabric, Kate reached out for the note that he had written on the back of an old envelope, thankful that the excruciating pain she had been in earlier had subsided into something which was at least bearable.

_**Kate,**_

_**I hope I didn't wake you when i left this.  
If I did, go back to sleep for a little while, it's only early still.**_

_**Help yourself to anything you need from the bathroom, and my wardrobe is all yours as well.  
Coffee and breakfast are ready whenever you are.**_

_**Castle xx**_

_**Ps. Don't forget the painkillers!**_

_**Pps. You're very cute when you snore. **_

He really was the sweetest man in the world. Although, a small amount of violence may be needed due to that last comment.  
Smiling like a teenage girl whose crush had just walked by her in the corridor, Kate climbed out of bed and headed in the direction of his bathroom, quickly turning back to pick up the painkillers before she had made it two steps.

* * *

Part of her wanted to avoid the mirror altogether, scared of what she would find staring back at her, but she knew that it had to be done. She had to see for herself the damage, or else she would never be able to move on.  
Wiping at the remnants of steam with her hand, and taking a tentative glance into the ever truthful glass, Kate saw something in herself that she hadn't been witness to in longer than was safe to think of; she saw happiness.  
Despite the tracks of mascara that had seemingly cemented themselves to her skin, and the greyness that clung under her eyes. Despite the scratches that littered her face and the bruises that crept into view beneath the warm embrace of Castle's bathrobe. Despite everything that she had expected to find in her reflection, the only thing she paid any attention to was the unmistakable shine of pure, unadulterated happiness.  
She had often heard people described as _glowing, _but had never before understood what it had meant. It wasn't so much a physical difference in her appearance, but rather a slight, almost imperceptible change in everything that she was; a change that she owed in its entirety to Rick Castle. The man whom she had hidden from for so long that she had forgotten what it was like to exist fully in the real world; the kind, and loving, and wonderful man who she had hurt for the sake of selfishly protecting herself. So there she stood, wrapped in his bathrobe and transfixed by the happiness reflected in her eyes, promising honesty and love to a man so wonderful that her whole body glowed with the thought of him.

* * *

Castle heard Kate moving about in his room, which meant he probably didn't have long before she would be in search of coffee and breakfast. He had no idea of when she had last eaten, but he highly doubted that it was anywhere close to a reasonable time ago, so he set to making a much needed feast of freshly brewed coffee, pancakes, and as many toppings as he could find.

As expected, it hadn't taken much longer than quarter of an hour for the gentle pad of bare feet to appear from the direction of his bedroom. Filling the biggest mug they owned, a novelty that Alexis had given him a few Christmases ago, he turned to the source of the footprints, with her coffee in hand.  
Kate didn't miss his wandering eyes for a second; roaming over her entire body in the time it took for her to saunter over to him, the swish of her hips perhaps a little more exaggerated than she would normally allow.  
Oh' she knew exactly what she was doing to him! Castle had tried, he really had, to keep his eyes locked onto hers, but that was easier said than done when Kate Beckett was concerned. All long legs and slender curves, she was addictive. Even more so in nothing but a pair of checked boxer shorts and an old grey t-shirt. His clothes. Her body. He never stood a chance.

She smiled up at him, eyes brighter than perhaps he had ever seen, eagerly accepting the coffee that he held out to her. Tracing her fingers across Castle's, she took the mug and gulped down as much of the desperately needed liquid as she could manage with one breath, conscious of his eyes that had yet to leave her.  
Kate placed the coffee down beside her, catching his eyes as they lingered on her caffeine warmed lips, a slight blush creeping to her cheeks and a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Castle quickly accepted her invitation to close the gap between them, his hands hot against her skin in seconds.  
_"Good morning, Miss Beckett." _He whispered, so close his breath tickled her nose. Anticipation tingled deliciously in her belly, clinging to the warmth that reverberated between them.  
_"Good morning, Mr Castle." _She replied, her words lost to the intoxicating pull of his lips.

* * *

To Be Continued.

Thank you for reading.  
I'm still new to writing when it comes to Castle, so please leave a review if you get chance.  
They really do mean the world.

Until next time,  
Katie


	5. Five

Good evening everyone!

I know that I only last updated this a few hours ago, but I was feeling a little too Steel Magnolias for my own good, and I thought that a little Caskett fluff was needed.  
Thank you to everyone who has added this to their alerts, it is one of the best feelings I know.

Enjoy.

* * *

**Five**

Kate had every intention of staying there for the rest of her life, the feel of Castle's warm hands burning fire deliciously across her skin, and their magical ability to draw out the pain that had set up home in her battered body too good to even consider leaving. Pushing onto her tiptoes, she clung hungrily to his still bare chest, messy kisses staining both their lips. Sloppy messages of good morning, and sentiments of love passing between them.

It had taken all the strength that Castle possessed to untangle his lips from Kate's, her teeth expertly scraping over his bottom lip as he pulled away, begging him to just keep kissing her. But he couldn't, not yet. She let out a whimper of protest as his hands unexpectedly turned her around, adamantly directing her towards the stools surrounding the island counter.  
Kate knew what he was doing, and it really was very lovely, but Rick Castle wasn't the kind of man you could simply kiss once. Her lips craved the heat of his. Buzzed with the taste of coffee and something altogether Castle. She needed him so much closer, addicted to his touch after only a few hours. She tried everything she could to turn around, to press herself languidly against his musky skin and capture his blushed lips with her own, but he already had her in line with the seat of the nearest stool before she had chance to wriggle free.  
_"Sit." _He instructed, hands pushing her gently to the seat.  
_"But, Caaastle, all I want is one, teeny, tiny, little kiss." _She whined, nose crinkling for added effect.  
Castle leaned in, agonisingly slow, stopping briefly when his lips were so very nearly within tasting distance of Kate's that she could feel there heat, _"Pancakes now. Kisses later." _  
Damn. He'd had her fooled, and he definitely knew it. Goofy smile and glittering eyes as he watched Kate bite down on her bottom lip to stop the moan of longing that had threatened to escape as he had pulled away before she had chance to stop him.

* * *

"_Castle?"  
"Mmm-hum?" _he mumbled through a mouth filled with marshmallow pancakes.  
_"Why do all my pancakes have a smiley face?"  
"Because, my dear Beckett, these aren't just any pancakes – these are world famous, limited time only, cheer you up pancakes."  
_Kate smiled up at him, witty reply dancing on the tip of her tongue. And then she looking at him so intently that Castle couldn't even begin to fathom what she was thinking, but he was pretty sure it wasn't just about pancakes. Not even world famous ones.  
He reached out across the countertop, pulling gently at her free hand and entwining their fingers, watching as a hundred thoughts danced across her features.  
_"Thank you, Rick. For everything."  
_Kate's eyes shimmered with tears, that for the first time in her entire adult life, she wasn't afraid to let fall; wasn't embarrassed by them, didn't try to hide them. She wasn't stuck, cowering and terrified behind a desperate wall of false strength; and that in itself made her feel stronger than she had in half a lifetime. She hoped that Castle understood, she wasn't crying because she was sad, or hurt, or scared. She wasn't really crying for any reason at all, except perhaps because she could. Here she sat, with smiley faced pancakes and tear stained cheeks, and she couldn't remember a time that she had felt so free. So utterly unburdened by the constant fight to keep her head above the water; to stop herself from drowning in a life that had never really been her own.  
She wasn't stupid; she knew that things couldn't just slip so effortlessly from one extreme to the other without so much as a conversation between them, but that could wait. Sometimes you just had to sit back, eat your pancakes, and enjoy the moment.

Castle didn't say anything to stop her tears; he knew he didn't have to. He understood what they meant. A final goodbye to the lives that they had been living; lives filled with hidden feelings and crippling insecurities. They weren't aimed at anyone or anything in particular, but rather the world as a whole. They belonged to Kate, and they belonged to him, and they belonged to everyone who had ever been brave enough to run headlong into love. They called out to the world and shouted from the rooftops: _I am here. I am alive. I am loved._

Kate leant in to the safe, solid warmth of Castle. Breathed in the life that flowed from his softly swollen lips as he kissed away the tears that she would never again hide from him. Kept hold of his hand as he moved back to his seat, a quick kiss on her nose as he went.  
He was smiling at her like the-cat-who-got-the-cream, and she was certain that it was an expression exactly mirrored by her own features. Because here they were, drinking coffee and eating world famous pancakes, and nothing could ever take this moment away from them.

* * *

To Be Continued..

Thank you, as ever, for reading.  
Let me know what you thought if you get the chance.

Also, if anyone has anything that they would like to see later chapters, drop me a review or a message as I'm always in need of a little inspiration. I will of course lend all credit to you for any ideas that are used.

Toodle-pip,  
Katie


	6. Six

Hello everyone!  
**  
**The majority of this was written in my head during an exceptionally boring double maths lesson this afternoon.. but it has taken me all evening to get it even remotely close to where i wanted it to go.

I hope you enjoy.

* * *

**Six**

The desire to stay wrapped in the magic of their finally uncovered feelings was stronger than either would care to admit. The fear of shattering what they had only just found crept slowly in, ridding both Castle and Beckett of their resolve for honesty, and making cowards of their hearts. They weren't hiding from each other, but rather with each other; hiding from the reality of a world that held their fate in its hands. What if dragging up a past filled with pain and suffering somehow tarnished what they now had? What if they managed to destroy their relationship before it even had a chance to begin? They had been thrust together with such unexpected ferocity that there hadn't been any time to think about what they were doing, never mind what it would all mean once the sun came up and the dust settled. They were left with a warzone; a battered and bloody past irrevocably embedded in their memories. A past which needed to be addressed if they ever hoped to move on, and yet a past that would, without a doubt, tear down the illusion of perfect happiness in which they currently found themselves.  
Katherine Beckett. Richard Castle. It was never going to be as simple as a single courageous act. They were safe in the warmth of blissful contentment, and only a joint moment of tremendous bravery would be able to drag them out of it, fighting for their right to love.

Kate pulled up from her hideaway in Castle's arms, sitting opposite him on the sofa that they had moved to not long after their second round of world famous pancakes. The sudden rush of cold adding to the feeling of dread that had slipped its icy hands around her quickly beating heart, almost forcing her back into the comforting warmth of Castle's strong arms. But she had to do this, no matter how awful the thought of it was. Reaching out to take his hand in her own, Kate took a deep, steadying breath before beginning an inevitable conversation of honesty and hope.

_"Castle, I think it's time that I explained myself_."

_"Are you sure? Because we don't have to do this now, it could wait until..."_

Kate didn't let him finish his sentence; she knew that if she did then they might never do what needed to be done, and then where would they be? Happy? Perhaps, but they would never be in the real world, and they deserved to at least give themselves a chance.

Lifting one hand away from his, she reached up the trace away the concern that tugged at his kiss stained lips, washing away the words that they both knew to be an attempt to prolong the fantasy for a little while longer.

_"Sshhh, lovely man, you don't need to be worried. We've done all our waiting, and it nearly tore us apart. I'm not willing to let that happen again, and i know that you aren't either. If we're doing this, we are doing it wholeheartedly."_

Just when Castle thought that he had seen every side to Kate, she did something that spun his head and reminded him of how silly a thought that was. Here she sat, eyes sparkling with a strength he could only ever dream of writing, and he was once again turned inside out and upside down.  
Needing Kate to know that he had truly heard what she had said, he did the only thing he could think of to prove his understanding; he kissed her. Lips colliding almost painfully with his need to assure Kate of his belief in her words, pulling his lips quickly away before they were both lost in the beautiful passion, their foreheads still leant together.

_"Ok."_

_"Ok?"_

_"You're right, Kate, we've wasted so much time waiting. So, ok. If you're ready, I'm ready. I'm ready and I'm with you. Whatever happens, I am always with you."_

* * *

Kate decided that the only way to do this properly was to start at the beginning; the very moment when reality had hit her so hard that the world had been ablaze with the secrets of her heart. She wanted Castle to understand how it had felt to be so utterly overwhelmed by a singular thought that nothing in else in the whole world had mattered.

_"I went to see Dr. Burke a few months ago, just turned up outside his door and waited until he had time to see me. I'd only ever done that once before, and that was to get myself back on his patient list, so I think that perhaps I shocked him into speaking less professionally than he normally would.  
We'd had horrible cases all week, none of which seemed any closer to being over. Gates was breathing down my neck to solve them before the hysteria set in, and my Dad was calling every half an hour to ask why I had brushed off his offer of dinner and telling me to not work so hard. I felt as if I was being pulled so hard in opposite directions that I was going to rip straight down the middle. I just needed someone to talk to. But, Lanie was swamped at the morgue, and you and I had hardly spoken outside of the precinct for weeks, and even that was more awkward that either one of us wanted to admit, so I ended up on the cold leather chair of my therapist's office. I'd had it all planned out, I was going to tell him everything that was whirling round my head and just not care anymore about how ridiculous it all sounded.  
When i sat down it was like my body was doing exactly the opposite of what I was telling it to do, and I couldn't say a single word. We just sat there, for I have no idea how long, and that was something that hadn't happened since the first few weeks after I was shot. I was terrified, and I didn't even know why. Then, Dr. Burke started this speech that was dancing around in my head and not making any sense at all, but I kept listening because it was the only thing that I seemed to be able to do. I've never listened to anyone the way I did that day, every word settled into my mind like it had been waiting to fill that exact spot, and stayed there until it was needed. I hadn't even thought about that day again, at least, not until last night."_

Castle hadn't taken his eyes off of Kate's since she had started speaking; had wanted to absorb everything that she was offering him. Desperate to understand every single hidden pathway of her mind, no matter what was awaiting him in the darkness. He stroked gentle circles over her hands, a constant reminder of his presence and a promise that nothing she had to say could ever break that.

"_I'd left the precinct under a daze of adrenaline, and I could hear Dr. Burke so clearly that I kept looking behind me and expecting to see him there. I was so absorbed in what he had said to me that I didn't even notice my feet dragging me through the city, I just kept walking to the pace of his words, oblivious to the world.  
And then I was at our swings, and it all made such perfect sense that I wanted to laugh, and cry, and scream at the top of my voice that i finally understood. Dr. Burke had told me that there would come a time in my life, a single moment of impact, that would put everything into perspective and I would just know what it was that I needed. I had reached that point.  
It had taken me literally clinging onto my life with all the strength that I had to finally understand what was important. Maddox got away, and it didn't matter. Gates suspended me, and it didn't matter. I resigned, and it didn't matter. None of it mattered. All I wanted was you, Rick. I was completely consumed with you. I still am."_

Kate smiled up at him, head titled a little to the side and eyes stung with tears filled with the relief of finally admitting how much she felt for the beautiful man sat before her.

"_I just want you. And I know that I don't deserve you for a second, not after how terribly I have treated you. It was selfish, and it was cruel, and I'm so, so sorry for everything that I have put you through. But, Castle, I love you so much that it physically hurts, so much that I can't even think about anything else. I want you, and me, and a life built together. I'm not hiding anymore, and I'm not scared. I want to live in the here and now; the beautiful, illuminated present tense. I just want you."_

Castle couldn't take his eyes off of her. Kate Beckett was here, in every sense of the word, and she had never looked so beautiful in all her life. He realised then that the past didn't matter; it had happened, and it had hurt, but it was over. Nothing could be changed. And he could spend the next fifty years of his life looking back on all the pain and suffering and guilt, or he could spend them looking at Kate. The woman who was sat a heartbeat away from him, begging for his understanding and pleading for his love. Yes, they had history, but wasn't that all just a part of the fun? Every great love story ever written in laced with tragedy and heartbreak, it is what makes them so special. To love someone at their best is easy, to keep loving them after that is where it all really begins. They had been through so much, but that didn't mean they weren't supposed to find their happily ever after. Even with a world conspired against them; they had still found their way back to one another. They always would.

"_Kate, you don't ever have to be sorry. I have so much that I wish I could take back; stupid, impetuous decisions that I shouldn't have made, and that I could spend my whole life regretting. But, that wouldn't get us anywhere. We've both made mistakes, but we can't live our entire lives under their veil of darkness and guilt. We can't change the past, it will always be a part of us, and I like to think that it makes us even stronger. I want the present, and I want the future. I want you."_

Her lips were on his in seconds, her body pressed against his chest, hands grasped to the curve of his neck. Castle felt the flicker of Kate's eyelashes against his cheek, a warm rush of fresh tears adding to the need with which he kissed her.  
She pressed hot kisses from his mouth, to the tingling skin along his jaw, stopping only once she reached the dent below his earlobe; whispering breathlessly, lips ghosting his skin, _"Make love to me."_

Four little words and the whole world stopped. His eyes searched for Kate's, seeking permission to do as she had asked. And there, amidst the haunting truth and the endless love, Castle found what he had been looking for. His heart beat fast and strong against his rib cage, and the world sped to catch up with its lost seconds. All of a sudden they were back; he was kissing her, or perhaps she was kissing him. It didn't really matter. Nothing mattered, except for the intoxicating feel of soft skin explored by roaming hands and lips that searched for never ending kisses.  
Passionate. Desperate. Fearless.

This was it, this was their single moment of impact, and the whole entire world was illuminated with the love of Katherine Beckett and Richard Castle. With an act of unadulterated love and undaunted courage. A single moment, to last a lifetime.

**The End**

* * *

There we have it.  
I hadn't quite meant to end this so soon, but it just seemed to write itself that way.

Thank you to everyone who has read this and given my writing a chance, it really does mean the world.  
Please let me know what you thought?

Katie

***edit: 05/07/2012***  
There was previously a note here asking if you would be interested in a sequel to this story ..as so many of you were lovely enough to offer your interest in one, I have now started writing it.  
This note is a little late, as the first few chapters are already uploaded, so please take a look if you get the chance to do so.

It is called **These Are The Moments We Live** **For**, and can of course be found on my homepage.  
The story follows on directly from this one ..taking us through the entirety of Castle and Beckett's life together.


End file.
